If there are problems, how can we get back on track?
Arthritis does not have to signal the end of a mutually satisfying sexual relationship. With a little creativity, patience and planning, you and your partner can rediscover the pleasures of sexual intimacy.
Communicate
Talk openly about how both of you are feeling emotionally and physically – this will help you overcome problems together. For example, fear of physical pain, or causing your partner physical pain, may make you apprehensive about sex. This can cause couples to withdraw from any physical contact so that even kissing and cuddling cease. During sex let your partner know if something is either uncomfortable or pleasurable.
Work together to find positions and techniques that give both of you the most amount of pleasure with the least amount of discomfort.
Get fit!
Your appetite for, and enjoyment of, sex is generally greater if you feel physically fit and well. So staying active is not only important for maintaining your muscle strength and joint mobility, it will also help you remain sexually active.
Plan ahead for sex
While it may not be spontaneous, planning ahead is worthwhile if it makes sex more satisfying. Think about the times of day you are likely to be more rested and experiencing the least amount of pain. For instance, if you have morning stiffness, afternoons or evenings may be better times for sex. Also consider:
- If pain is a problem, time pain medication for an hour or so before sex.
- Your joints may feel more comfortable after a warm shower or bath – why not share one with your partner?
- Use a heating pad or electric blanket to help soothe sore joints and muscles before sex.
- Use massage to help relax muscles, even as a form of foreplay.
- Pace yourself during the day to save energy for you and your partner.
- If fatigue is a problem, have a nap before sexual activity.
- Have pillows or rolled towels available to help support sore joints.
Get creative
If sex causes discomfort, you may need to try different positions. There are numerous positions that will ensure sex is both possible and enjoyable – for example, one or both partners could stand, kneel or sit. Finding positions that are both comfortable and rewarding will take patience and understanding from you both, but if you work together, you have the potential to reconnect with each other and develop a deeper level of intimacy. In particular, during this time of trial and error try not to lose your sense of humour as it’s important to ensure you have some fun along the way!
Source and credit: Arthritis Australia